The Learning Umbrella

When I decided to go to school to become a teacher, I was mostly motivated by the fact that I just didn't want to leave school. I loved college, I loved learning, and I didn't want to narrow my focus and become "expert" on one little tiny aspect of something. I looked ahead to a life running similar lab tests all day long, or something like that, with dread. Now I realize that I could have done anything after college and been fine, but at the time I thought the best way to be happy was to stay in the abstract world of academics. I pictured my grandfather, a college professor, and that was what I wanted to be - somebody who never stopped learning and being curious and engaged with their interests.
I still want to be that person, but now I realize that being a teacher in the public schools wouldn't actually make that happen. What can make that happen is me, doing anything really, but taking the time to stay engaged and learning and growing. Sometimes a life of academics lets you do that, as it did for my grandfather. But my mother is also like that, and she's lived her life as a mother and childcare provider. My mother loved homeschooling because "she got to learn with the kids". That wasn't what I felt encouraged to do as a student teacher - I was supposed to be an expert. It was hard to say "I don't know, let's find out" if a student asked me a question out of the blue. It was tempting to blow them off so that I wouldn't get "off schedule" or to say "that isn't what we're working on right now".
I don't want to be my childrens' teacher. I want to be more of a librarian, helping them find the resources they need, putting together attractive and thought provoking displays to try and get them interested in a new subject, and being there to answer any questions that I can. I also want to be a role model, a sort of more advanced learner working side by side with them. A love of learning, and of life, is the most important gift you can give a child. In the book Guerrilla Learning by Grace Llewellyn and Amy Silver, they phrase this idea as "continuing your own involvement in the world of ideas and culture, continuing to read, to think, to discuss, and to create - and being a walking, talking invitation to your kids to do the same" (p. 35). These authors rightly point out that you can do this for your children whether or not you are homeschooling them. Involvement with school, even with college, is only one aspect of learning. We can all be learning, all the time, no matter our age or circumstances. The world and life provide plenty of things to learn about.